Life Lessons/Cauliflower Rice

Who wants to hear a funny story?

I have a twin brother. When we were young teens, I remember him becoming adorably chubby. Like chipmunk-y chubby. I changed too. I got myself some curves and for the first time ever became conscious of what my body looked like.  Then, boom! Overnight, my brother became tall and slim. Curious about this phenomenon, I asked him how he did it. His answer is not for the faint of heart. He told me that he went camping and he took a massive, epic dump. And ever since that dump, he couldn't stop losing weight.

The result of his tale is the insane part of this story. Until I was about 20, I impatiently waited for "my big dump". Every once in a while, I'd release a notably large amount of guano and be convinced that it was the one! My turn! Obviously, my body-changing poo never came. Obviously, I was totally bonkers.

If I could go back in time, I would tell teenage Julia to first of all, quit worrying about her body and just have some youthful fun. I would also tell her to stop eating bricks of cheese. I would tell her that chickpeas and avocados exist. Most importantly, I would tell her that a rich & healthy lifestyle awaits her. First she'd have to take a metaphorical dump, flushing bag habits, a stressful job, and all her super crappy boyfriends down the toilet... 

I'm going to keep telling you this story, but we'll continue another day.

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Cauliflower Rice

Speaking of healthy lifestyles, let's make some Cauliflower Rice! So good and so healthy. This stuff reminds me more of couscous than rice, and I love it. I will probably be eating my cauliflower like this for at least the next year.

I've made it twice. The first time I blanched the cauliflower. It was really good, but then I tried it in a frying pan and prefer it that way. The flavour is a smokier, and the cauliflower is a bit more absorbent, like rice would be.

  1. Chop up your cauliflower into even pieces and pulse in a food processor until it's about the same size as rice. If you don't have a food processor, just grate the cauliflower.
  2. It will smell a bit weird. Don't worry, it will taste good.
  3. Plop it into the frying pan with a bit of EVOO or butter and S&P! You can leave it on there for as long as you see fit. I like it fairly raw, between 5-7 minutes. Donesies!
  4. Keeps well in the fridge. I'm sure you could freeze it too.
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Look how yummy this dinner looks? I know, it sort of looks like mush. But it's thai-peanut beef, and it was delicious. And the cauliflower rice kinda does look like rice!

This is so simple. Go try it. VEGGIES RULE! MORE VEGGIES ALL THE TIME!

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Me!

Me!